Le sigh... :(

Akhir-akhir ini bener2 sedih. Gw akhirnya ketemu sma org yg at least gw pny perasaan suka dan nyaman dan nyokap ga setuju sma dia. Bingung, kalut, ga ngerti harus ngapain. Di satu sisi gw hormat akan insting nyokap untuk protect anaknya tp di sisi lain koq gw ngeliatnya itu suatu kekhawatiran yang berlebih. Kadang pengen rasanya ga peduli dgn komentar nyokap tpi... tkut ntar malah kualat.

I know, kualat atau karma itu mgkn sbnrnya ga ada. But kok kayaknya ada aja yg nunjukin bahwa perhaps it does truly exist.

Sementara si cowok jg ga membantu utk ngebuat smua itu jadi mudah. Dia suka maksain pendapat (1 point I hate bout u dear). Yg bkin gw suka sma ini org adalah fakta bhw dia semangat untuk ngerubah nasib hidupnya dgn kerja keras. Ngedenger cerita dia blom tidur smaleman hny utk ngerjain event yg sharusnya dtanggung rame2, dgr cerita dia lg diskusi n nego sma klien dia, dgr dri temennya bhw kantor mrk lg over load. Kadang gw pikir, gila ya ni org, apa ga pernah cape ya.... dan.... skrg gw dah tau gmn ni org klo dah cape bgt... lg telp tiba2 ktdran, hebat! Well... gw sendiri on the other side of the phone jg dah ketiduran sih (senyum2 malu sendiri)

Terus... what I also like about him is dia sabar banget bantuin gw utk jdi lbh dewasa. I admit, I'm a spoiled brat! (another le sigh here). Dia yg slalu ngingetin utk ga terlalu sering tidur, lbh banyak usaha dlm ngejalanin hidup, jgn sering2 ngeluh, sma yg trakhir jgn tlalu bgantung sma uang ortu. Oh dear... how am I suppose to live between 2 person in my life that I love but 1 hates the other though the reverse is hopefully not true. :-s

Oh ya... bokap sih kliatannya sampe saat ini netral, tpi ga tau ya pikiran doi sbnrnya gmn. I really wish there is a solution to this problem. Cape' jg bo' mikirin jalan keluarnya.... :(

Dear heart

Please don't give up on me now, not yet. We might have to deal with another heart break but hopefully this will be the last. The best is yet to come, hopefully. Besides, they say what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger :D

Amin.

-a-

Weird

Weird.... just plain weird... I've wrote a post a couple weeks ago, talking about new years and other sentimental crap... and the fact that I wanted to say goodbye to this so called 'guy' that I like, it looks like it's gone. Oh well, I might not saved it after all.

L O V E
It's a 4 letter word that no one can describe. Yes, you can find the meaning in the dictionary but I believe every single person in this planet has differing opinions about it. I just wish love would come easily to me but boy am I so wrong. The sucky part is that I still like the 'guy' whom I really need to get away from. I wish I could tell him I really really do like you, or rather have him say that to me. But I guess I'm dreaming about it, I don't think he'll ever mention that to me, hell, I bet he doesn't even feel a thing near love about me. I wish saying goodbye to this 'guy' is as easy as saying goodbye to any other friend like I have no feelings for him. It's proofable that it's not. I can't get you out of my mind.

Seriously, if you don't like me back and if this isn't worth it then please I need an out. I can't be friends with you, I like you too much to lose you to another person. I want to get to know you, I really do. Yet, I'm a girl, I don't think it's appropriate to say that to a guy. Call me old school or conventional but I still believe that a guy should say something first to a girl before anything can further happen. Crap! I'm rattling again, is this even worth it...??!?!?!??! I don't f***ing know :(
Maybe I should close that chapter of my life and just move on. Bye 'guy'!

-a-