Yeap, those are the 2 exact phrase that keeps on lingering on my thoughts day in day out especially nowadays thanks to the twilight novel... no scrap that, thanks to the sucky reality that is my life.
I've often wondered in life, if ever i would get what i want, what i wished for since i was a school girl... not to be whiny but the fact is I've merely ever get what i wish.... I've always wanted to be an actress but hell... i look like hell... yeap i'm ugly, well not that ugly but average face type would be the exact description of how i look and not to mention i am waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy lacking in the self confident department that m sure i won't even handle being in front of the spotlight.... but still... a girl can only dream of being an actress... why would i want that? welll for 1 thing is the fame, the things that you can do in which an average ordinary human being can't do (I have a lot of things i'd like to do but i think is impossible to do in this lifetime anyway due to my ugliness), the people you'd get to hang around with (yeah I could only imagine.... dream on girl!) but what's important is the things that you could change through it... it's like just cause you're famous you can do whatever you want and cause changes in any thing that you are passionate about (of course I'm talking bout the positive changes that we could make or rather I could make if only I'm an actress) but sadly... i'm just an ordinary original very average person who can only dream to do things that she dreams about and how dare her some people would probly say to have this kind of dreams..... yeah reality sux and its crushing all my hopes hell.... its crushes all my motivations for life n now i sound like a depressed person....!!!!
gotta sign out before i manage to depress myself even further
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