I don’t wanna be alone, but does not want being alone means it justifies the act of accepting another human being namely a spouse with the whole 9 yard package, the whole good n bad that we’re suppose to go through with them. Does it justify the fact that we might get hurt in the future because of that so called spouse. Does it justify the potential of being betrayed, cheated, hurt in ways never imagined before just to not want to live life alone?
Marriage, a sacred word that I’ve come to loath today. I’ve had my shares of bad relationships n good ones as well, but it mostly ends up bad. Men, a being that god creates in which women ‘so called’ can’t live without but yet again tend to hurt my kind in ways unimaginable.
Should I accept the fact of ‘the one’ person whom I’m suppose to be with n accept his flaws as well as allow myself to become vulnerable again, trusting that so called ‘the one’ would actually take care of me through the good n the bad till death do us apart? Or would he actually be the one just to fill that gap, that emptiness and avoid being alone for the rest of my life?
Will I be able to risk it all again?
Will I let myself seize the 2 faced opportunity?
Or will I keep my guard and walls up and end up being alone?
Whatever the choice is, I don’t have to make it now as I haven’t even found that potential ‘the one’ at this very moment.
But will you promise me god to provide the answers for me?
That’ll only be a prayer in which I hope god will provide the answer…. IF there is actually a god somewhere out there.
Man! Am I becoming an atheist more n more each day n rattles aimlessly?
Oh well, I guess it’s time for me to sleep!
But before I go, here’s a song by Lost Prophets that makes me question the reason of our existence in life.
LOSTPROPHETS
"Rooftops"
When our time is up
When our lives are done
Will we say we've had our fun?
Will we make a mark this time?
Will we always say we tried?
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
This is all we got now
Everybody scream your heart out.
All the love I've met
I have no regrets
If it all ends now, I'm set
Will we make a mark this time?
Will we always say we tried?
Will we make a mark or will we always say we try?
Guess we’ll never actually know till our life ends.
Can we actually say that we’re set to go if life ends now?
I don’t think I’m set yet, and I actually intend to make a mark in this life, but how is yet something I need to establish. That sux! Life just sux as it is :(
